then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
