my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Everyone says I win the strip club
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
