would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
