i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
