Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
