im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
