no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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