Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
