Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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