you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we're making bets on your personal life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
