Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
