It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
