I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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