So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
