He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
