Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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