Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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