I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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