I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize