I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
