hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
