i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
