remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
