How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize