i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
