either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
