Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
