I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
