She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
