Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
