its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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