I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize