whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
