Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize