Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
