This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
