Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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