thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
