She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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