i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
