she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize