Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize