Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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