Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
