I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
