I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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