My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
