Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
