oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
