This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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