But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
