Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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