dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So. Much. Porn.
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