Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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