just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize