It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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