I look better un-naked...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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