At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
