it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
