Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
