you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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