I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize