I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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