escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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