ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
