I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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