I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Enjoy the penises
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
